Great horror television shows are few and far between. As a kid there was “Are You Afraid of the Dark?” and “Goosebumps”, and as I got older I started watching “The X-Files” and “Tales from the Crypt”. Currently for those looking for a great horror fix, there are a lot of options. One of the best out there currently is “American Horror Story”. When I heard that Ryan Murphy was behind the project, I was immediately intrigued. He had created “Nip/Tuck”, which not only introduced me to the greatest actor of all time (here’s looking at you Peter Dinklage) but it was so different than anything else I had seen on network television. And like with any long running show, the seasons of AHS have been all over the spectrum. Last week I wrapped up latest season on Netflix, and I thought that since I was caught up it was the perfect time to rank the seasons. I will not be doing plot summaries, but you should expect some spoilers. So with all that, let’s start with the worst season!
7. Cult (2017)
Pros:
- Evan Peters keeps getting better with each passing season. I really enjoyed him in this role, and he was by far the best thing about the season.
- Before the cult came to light, the clowns were super spooky and I dug it a lot. Unfortunately, the intrigued wasn’t to be maintained…
Cons:
- My biggest criticism for this season is the whole creation and evolution of the cult. Evan Peters is able to easily convince these slightly angry than normal people able to commit mass murder and gruesome acts immediately. However, I think that the season would have been better off if there had been a slower evolution. Charles Manson wasn’t able to convince his family within hours of meeting to murder Sharon Tate and the other people at her house. I think watching normal people fall into the trap of the cult leader would have been a lot better.
- This season really lacks the three women who to me made the show; Angela Bassett, Kathy Bates, and Jessica Lange. These actresses are astounding, and whenever they are on screen they captivate the audience like no one else can. This is the first season where we don’t have any of them in the season, and I think it is a huge part of why this season is so low for me.
- Lastly, I hated the politics. I watch television and film to escape reality. Sometimes, good television or film can show aspects of society without clearly outlining its purpose. But with this, it was so ham-handed that it really bugged me. If I want crazy political talk I will turn to Fox News or MSNBC.
6. Hotel (2015)
Pros:
- Lady Gaga. I still cannot believe it, but she was SO GOOD! I didn’t expect it, especially when she was slated as the actress to replace Jessica Lange. Granted, no one can replace Lange, but Lady Gaga took the role as creepy, sexual vampire goddess and nailed it. She absolutely deserved the Emmy in this role.
- I loved the modern take on vampires. Sometimes vampires can be really crappily handled (looking at you Stephanie Meyers) but AHS did a great job with it.
- I also was a big fan of them bringing in the story of H. H. Holmes. A book that I really enjoy is “The Devil in the White City” which is about the real life murders that Holmes committed during the 1893 World’s Fair in Chicago. (Leonardo DiCaprio actually bought the rights to this movie and is working with Martin Scorsese to make the film with DiCaprio playing Holmes. I CANNOT WAIT FOR THAT!!) Evan Peters was a great choice to play the AHS version of Holmes as James Marsh, as he once again delivers a stellar performance.
Cons:
- The show missed Jessica Lange. I do not know if it is because I am such a fan, but I felt the whole time there was a huge hole missing where she should have been.
- Some of the deaths were a little too much for me. Seeing what happened to Schmidt still makes me ill to this day.
- The big twist at the end was obvious from halfway in the season to me, and because of that, I found myself caring a lot less about the end game.
5. Roanoke (2016)
Pros:
- The style change up! I loved how it was a show within a show for the first half, and then a found footage for the second half. It was a huge roll of the dice for the show to do this, but man it worked out well in a big way. And then to bring it all back together by having all the characters return and face their counterparts was awesome.
- Kathy Bates did a fantastic job at showing how terribly delusion can lead to drastic problems. Her role in this season reminded me a lot of her role in “Misery” which won her the Oscar for Best Actress.
- When the urban explorers led by Taissa Farmiga came across the house and met their grizzly doom, I had some very real flashbacks. I have talked on the pod before about how in my younger days I used to go exploring abandoned insane asylums. It was always in the back of my mind that something like that would happen to us. So to see it happen like that on the big screen really, really got to me.
- Lastly, the deaths in this season were BRUTAL. From the gutting of the medium, to the spitting of the urban explorers, the show held nothing back. Some of the scenes will stick with me for a long, long time.
Cons:
- This season is so low for one reason, and one reason only; the last episode. I loved the season and its format. I loved the historical relevance to the season. I loved the ghost story of it all. But there was no reason for the last episode. It took away from the setup of the show and didn’t really do anything for Lee’s character. Everything about it seemed superfluous, and that includes Lana Winters cameo. I felt like it was forcibly added on by some pencil pusher at FX because they couldn’t handle how dark the season was. Big, big mistake.
4. Coven (2013)
Pros:
- Enter in Kathy Bates and Angela Bassett!! Kathy Bates plays the terribly racist ghost of Delphine LaLaurie to eerie perfection. The flashbacks to her terrible deeds are made all the more real by Bates’ performance. Bassett plays the Voodoo Queen Marie Laveau, and it was one of my first interactions with Bassett as an actress. She too was amazing.
- Jessica Lange plays the jealous leader of the witch coven, and you can truly feel the hate. Part of me thinks she may truly have been envious of the beauty of her younger co-stars Taissa Farmiga and Emma Roberts and brought that hatred into her role. Although there is a season I have ranked higher than this one where I think she does this even better….
- I really liked how the show handled racism and the true evil that it is. I feel like this is where AHS shines brightest, when it tackles these severely taboo topics in a dramatic way but then ties it in to modern culture.
- Last but not least, who didn’t love seeing Stevie Nicks as a witch!?!
Cons:
- It might be my undying love for Harry Potter style witchcraft, but witches having individual powers and all that was weird for me. I put it in cons, because I feel like it was too much of a dues ex machine for me to ignore.
- I felt that Gabourey Sidibie who plays the voodoo doll-like Queenie was very weak in her role in comparison to the rest of the cast. I am not saying she wasn’t ok, but just that when you have such strong performances from such legendary actors, a sub-par performance sticks out like a sore thumb.
- I also really didn’t care for the Frankenstein’s monster character of Evan Peters. I don’t think that that character needed to exist in this season. Just focus on the women!!
And… that is all you get for this week!! Did you think you were going to get them all right away?? As Burton Guster from the amazing show “Psych” would say, C’mon son!! Comment below and let me know how you think I will rank the last remaining seasons; Asylum, Murder House, and Freak Show. See you next week!!!
---Larry